Extra Strawberries....

-

 


STARBUCKS BARISTA: Good morning! What can we make for you?

MANNY FURIOUS (lowering his voice 3 octaves): GIVE ME A PINK DRINK, WOMAN. EXTRA STRAWBERRIES.

STARBUCKS BARISTA: Awesome! Anything else?

MANNY FURIOUS (looking around, nervously): AND THREE HUNDRED POUNDS TO BENCH PRESS.

STARBUCKS BARISTA (winking secretively at Manny Furious, while ensuring to speak loud enough for the whole cafe to hear): It is such a masculine drink, if I do say so myself!

MANNY FURIOUS: *leaves $20 tip 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trouble in the sewers....

-
Image
                   For 30 years,  in "We Didn't Start the Fire"  I assumed  Billy Joel said,  "Trouble in the SEWERS"  and that some grand historic event happened in the sewers somewhere that I just never heard about. Some vague prole revolution or an alligator infestation.  Ninja Turtles.  You know,  something awesome. Two days ago  I learned  what he really sang was  "Trouble in the SUEZ."  Very disappointing.
Read more

Side Eye at King Soopers....

-
Image
  in a street fight watch out for the lanky, wiry types. they never get tired and have unreal   pain thresholds. and they can easily turn a fight into a scrap. a scrappy fight comes down to who can tolerate the most pain before curling up into a (mostly un) protective ball, therefore favoring the lanky, scrappy type. dislocated shoulders and broken ankles don't slow them down, nor busted jaws.  your best hope is a chokehold.    I think about this as a lanky, wiry type in camo pants gives me the side eye in King Soopers. he's older, sure. 50s maybe. but he's got a scar on his right  cheek that looks like a Nike swoosh, and mouthful of empty gums where there should be teeth, so I turn my eyes downward and run with my groceries to the car.
Read more

Exactly what Bruce Lee means....

-
Image
On this Easter's Eve, in the good year of Our Lord 2025, I think of young Manny Furious, 14 years old, in the midst of his "awkward years," electroshocked hair leaping from his skull, eyes in a constant squint because dumb 14 year old boys think weird and untrue things like squinting constantly is less embarrassing than wearing glasses. I think of young Manny Furious on this Easter's Eve, because I think of him on the start of his spiritual quest wandering the streets of Rio Frio, half in a daze because he can't stop thinking about what Bruce Lee meant when he said, "Be water, my friend."  "It can flow, or it can crash," little Manny Furious whispers to himself several dozen times per day.  His father, Roland Furious, had failed to properly edify him of the phrase's meaning, despite all his best and appropriate efforts. Little Manny Furious was just too dense, too obtuse. He needed someone who had both the wisdom to know what "Being li...
Read more